Get a Match

Ladies, extract those burning bras from the bonfire. Blow out the flames, and prepare to assume the position formerly accorded to you by society. The face of 21st century feminism looms as a sulky teenage girl deep in the throes of her first crush.

Bella Swan, the emo-cum-grunge heroine of Twilight fame, has emerged from the shadows in the second movie adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's popular series. Heroine is a loose definition, though, because heroism suggests action, suggests purpose. Bella achieves neither as she mumbles and trudges her way through the plot which revolves around brutish and highly stylized concepts of masculinity contrasted sharply against Miss Bella's wilting, shrinking persona.

Fans of the series will revel in the plot. Bella and Edward-the-vampire deeply in love have settled into a "normal" routine; everything seems blissful until one drop of Bella's blood (an obvious reference to the blood of a virgin) sets off a series of events that forces Edward to "break up" with Bella, for her own good, naturally. Bella, powerless and tortured by this loss, retreats into long days and nights of pining for this lost love. Miraculously, the "hole in her heart" (this is actual dialogue!) begins to heal when she allows herself to feel romantic thoughts for Jacob, who marvelously turns out to be a werewolf.

Of course, in the midst of her romantic misery, Bella neglects to go to school or to maintain any friendships.

Bluntly, here's the message for the modern girl:

1. You will accomplish nothing.
2. You will accomplish nothing except to exist as a romantic plaything for monsters.
3. You are utterly at the whim of these monsters and remain powerless in their supernatural and brutal grasps.
4. Education, the arts, a self-concept, math, science, and even the ability to enjoy a movie all pale against the goal of pleasing the male monsters.

Yikes. Our mothers burned their bras for this? What happened to the lessons of modern feminism? You can do whatever a man can do! You don't need a man to feel fulfilled! Stay in school! Be the change you want to see in the world! A short twenty years ago, Buffy-the-vampire-slayer kicked some ass and taught some lessons. She may have been a blond, valley girl but she didn't take any guff from the monsters of the night.

The times, they are a'changing, and it ain't for the better. If Bella represents a modern definition of a regular girl, then maybe it's time to ignite a fresh bonfire - for these books.

Copyright 2010 Karen Napolitano