Ladies, extract those burning bras from the bonfire. Blow out the flames, and prepare to assume the position formerly accorded to you by society. The face of 21st century feminism looms as a sulky teenage girl deep in the throes of her first crush.
Bella Swan, the emo-cum-grunge heroine of Twilight fame, has emerged from the shadows in the second movie adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's popular series. Heroine is a loose definition, though, because heroism suggests action, suggests purpose. Bella achieves neither as she mumbles and trudges her way through the plot which revolves around brutish and highly stylized concepts of masculinity contrasted sharply against Miss Bella's wilting, shrinking persona.
Fans of the series will revel in the plot. Bella and Edward-the-vampire deeply in love have settled into a "normal" routine; everything seems blissful until one drop of Bella's blood (an obvious reference to the blood of a virgin) sets off a series of events that forces Edward to "break up" with Bella, for her own good, naturally. Bella, powerless and tortured by this loss, retreats into long days and nights of pining for this lost love. Miraculously, the "hole in her heart" (this is actual dialogue!) begins to heal when she allows herself to feel romantic thoughts for Jacob, who marvelously turns out to be a werewolf.
Of course, in the midst of her romantic misery, Bella neglects to go to school or to maintain any friendships.
Bluntly, here's the message for the modern girl:
1. You will accomplish nothing.
2. You will accomplish nothing except to exist as a romantic plaything for monsters.
3. You are utterly at the whim of these monsters and remain powerless in their supernatural and brutal grasps.
4. Education, the arts, a self-concept, math, science, and even the ability to enjoy a movie all pale against the goal of pleasing the male monsters.
Yikes. Our mothers burned their bras for this? What happened to the lessons of modern feminism? You can do whatever a man can do! You don't need a man to feel fulfilled! Stay in school! Be the change you want to see in the world! A short twenty years ago, Buffy-the-vampire-slayer kicked some ass and taught some lessons. She may have been a blond, valley girl but she didn't take any guff from the monsters of the night.
The times, they are a'changing, and it ain't for the better. If Bella represents a modern definition of a regular girl, then maybe it's time to ignite a fresh bonfire - for these books.
Copyright 2010 Karen Napolitano
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HUMOR, IRONY, SATIRE, and occasional DIATRIBE
Just a tiny warrior battling the dragon of ignorance and modern
day lunacy ...
6 comments:
May I have you as a guest blogger because I so HATE this series.
Feel free to spread the word about this dreadful 2nd movie. Teenage girls beware, not of vampires and werewolves, but of the notion that only a boy can complete your life.
Some Day my prince of darkness will come....sorry, I couldn't resist.
Great article! I am going to drop this link on Facebook so others can read this. Sherry Antonetti left your link at the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers Group, so I came here and loved it!
Succinctly and aptly put and unfortunately oh so true. Are we raising a new generation of vapid teenage girls whose lives are meanlingless without a man? I hope not but I have seen the evidence and it's not pretty.
Karen,
You said it so well. I applaud every word. Robert Pattison plays a human but very conflicted young man in "Remember Me." Still the young woman leaves home and skips college classes to be with him.
Thanks to Sherry for sharing this with the humor group.
Sharon
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