Hail to "The Chief"

Washington, D.C. boasts a new denizen this week.

Typically, this high-profile arrival has taken up residence in a posh piece of District real estate complete with water view. Additionally, like many freshly delivered "inside the Beltway," this new resident arrived with a flurry of controversy. He was selected through a secretive process by a core group of his admirers. Arriving silently with little fanfare, he quickly established his territory and has already edged out older, once respected, fellow representatives. Not surprisingly, this newcomer has offered little personal reflection about his fresh fame, but is willing to offer himself to the television cameras and the curious Johnny Q. Public at any opportunity. Notable locals are lining up like groupies at a rock concert for a picture with this cool arrival.

His success in Washington is assured. Capable of morphing into any necessary shape to suit the moment, this politicized creature can squeeze through tiny loopholes or occupy an entire chamber. His spinelessness is prerequisite for navigating the icy waters adjacent to the Potomac. He is deeply aware of the moods and threats around him and responds by changing colors and positions to suit his advantage. His closest handlers report that he has already demonstrated a sharp learning curve, and his broad appetite and ruthless advantage over opponents will leave few little fish in the pond.

Only one task remains. His publicists have scratched their heads over his official name and title. A decision will be made soon and early reports suggest that those in his inner circle are entertaining obvious monikers such as "The Lobbyist," "Senator," or "Former Governor Palin." Sadly submissive to their control, this new arrival can hardly voice an objection to these inherent insults to his his once proud species ... the Giant Pacific Octopus.

Copyright 2010 Karen Napolitano