Alert the Guards!

The Grammar Empress observes that her subjects are disappearing. No, faithful reader, the Empress does not refer to you or your loyal companion Rex-the-wonder-dog. The missing subjects in question are the ones that formerly appeared in sentences.

Recently, the Empress has received puzzling messages from friends, family, and colleagues.

"Am certain the meeting is at 4:00."

Presumably, the missing subject is "I" commonly paired with the first person present tense of the verb to be. The author must scarcely know what to do with the extra time saved by eliminating the tedious exercise of typing a single letter!

"Have dinner plans and will call later."

Notably, this example provides an imperative to its reader. The subject is you understood. More precisely, this reads, "(You) have dinner plans and will call later." Startled, the Grammar Empress complies with a hasty restaurant reservation.

"Running late, need caffeine, may have flat tire."

This desperate missive could seemingly be tapped out by a trapped victim in dashes and dots on a plumbing pipe. In reality, this author used the antiquated system of paper and pencil to leave a note for the Empress.

The Grammar Empress duly notes the value of expediency in communication in our modern world. Tweeting in Tehran or in solidarity with reformers has already proven effective against a repressive and paranoid Iranian government. Yet, the Grammar Empress laments the loss of any her valued subjects. She encourages the return of I, we, you, they, he, she, it, Stanley, a black lab, the little blue engine, the mulberry bush, burnt toast, and all of the other gorgeous combinations produced by those who are ... well ... literate in English.

TTYL!